If people are lucky, they might grow up with one mother. In that regard Kody was lucky. By the time he reached adulthood, he had three mothers. One being the one who raised him, played with him as a child, helped to form him into the incredible man he became and continued to love him and do what she could for him for his whole life. The second being his step mom, who loved him like a son despite meeting him when he was an adult. The third being my mom, his mother-in-law, but his mother all the same. Each of these mothers showed him so much of a mothers’ love.

At different times of Kody’s life, each of these mothers helped him along his path. I cannot speak too much on his relationship with his own mother. Kody unfairly didn’t let her have much time in his adult life. This goes back to the shame Kody felt. The way that his depression didn’t allow him to succeed in all the ways that he could of. He knew his mother was proud of him. However, it was often easier for him to push her away, rather than to face her when he knew she could be disappointed. He told me once that he felt as a teenager he had judged her very unfairly and pushed her away. She loved him so completely and he felt so undeserving. Loving someone so completely, even when they push you away takes a special kind of person.

His step mother was someone that was important to his life mostly as an adult. Unlike the step mothers in fairy tales, she strove to protect and guide Kody from when she met him. Kody found her as more a friend. She was opening her heart to adult children when she married into the family. As with all people, Kody initially regarded her cautiously. He soon became happy to sit with her while waiting for his dad to get home from work. He was able to talk openly with her in ways that he couldn’t talk to many other people in his life. She loved him unconditionally from the moment she met him, beaming out light and love.

My mother took Kody under her wing in the way she mothered the vast majority of my friends in high school. When Kody first came to my house, he was welcomed as everyone was. I remember initially Kody felt surprised by my mother. She just let all these kids into her house and loved each one as they appeared.

As the years went on, she taught Kody to drive and helped him to get his license. She supported his decision to join the Navy, even though it worried her. He went to her as a guide when he felt he could not go to others. She welcomed him into our home when he left the Navy and started to attend college. My mother grew to love Kody as a son, both when we were friends and when we were married. After our divorce, Kody initially felt strange reaching out to her. But she loved him all the same, continuing to provide him with a mothers’ love.

Kody was so lucky to have all of these mothers in his life. They were people who guided him, loved him, and taught him all they could. He is not here today to celebrate each of these mothers and what they’ve done for him, so I will do so instead. Thank you to all Kody’s mothers for loving him, caring for him, even when it was difficult. I know that today you are mourning a son even as you celebrate with the rest of your children. Know that Kody loved you, even when he didn’t act like it, even when he was pushing you away. If love alone could have saved him, all his mothers’ love would have done so.