If you are in that darkest of places, I am so sorry. I am sorry our world is challenging. I am sorry that you are experiencing something so difficult. I know that empty platitudes aren’t helpful.

Feeling alone in the world is so common. While everyone goes through periods of depression in their lives, those contemplating suicide are often seeking an end for longer term depression. Many will say not to consider such a permanent end to a temporary problem.

If you’re actually feeling this level of depression, problems rarely feel temporary. But the truth is there are solutions beyond suicide to consider. Getting help whether from a suicide hotline, a crisis center, or a doctor can be difficult. Know that you are not alone. There are so many people out there who love you. You make a difference in the world.

After Kody died by suicide, I was surprised at how many people came out of the woodwork. People he barely knew, previous coworkers, classmates, fellow veterans reached out telling how much Kody had changed their lives. You may feel like the world would be a better place without you in it, but I assure you that it isn’t true.

Depression tells you all kinds of things. It tells you that you are worthless, that you’ll never recover, that life isn’t worth living. It is important to remember that depression is lying to you. You are an incredible unique individual that was put here on earth to face challenges and overcome them. To grow. To see new things. To experience laughter, sadness, and so much more.

While it can be challenging to get the help that you need, you deserve it. You deserve to feel better. You deserve a place in this world. You are so loved.

One of the articles I recently read about depression talked about suicide being a simple transference of pain. The pain you feel will be felt by so many when you are gone. Those you don’t even think will miss you will be effected.

I beg you not to leave the people in your life feeling the way the people around me feel currently. Losing a friend, a son, a brother to suicide leaves you changed forever.

One of Kody’s favorite musicals was Wicked. In it there is a song, that has the line “I don’t know if I’ve been changed for the better, but because I knew you, I have been changed for good.” This line has always resonated with me. The song comes into my head often when I stop to think of Kody.

I can’t know whether Kody’s depression would have improved eventually with the right meds or the right help. I can’t know what his life might have looked like later on. I can’t say that it would definitely have been better, but I know I saw glimpses of the happiness he could have had. All of that has been taken away.

I can’t change the fact that Kody is gone or that so many people I know are forever altered by his death, but I hope that I can change even one person’s mind. There are other ways out of the darkness. Ending your life might feel like the best way out, but it isn’t true. Please get help, if not for yourself than for everyone that loves you.