Something that Kody and I had in common from the first time that I met him was that we preferred sitting on the floor or laying on the ground to sitting on a chair or a couch. Some of the deepest conversations I’ve ever had with Kody happened when both of us were laying on the ground. I am aware that this says something about our neurodivergence from many of our peers. Suffice it to say that life on the floor helped to ground us.

One of my best memories of Kody was the night after we picked up the keys to our new house. We didn’t have any furniture. We didn’t have anything at all moved in yet. But we wanted to eat dinner in our house. Kody drove to the Subway around the corner and picked up sandwiches. We ate them on the carpet of the living room. We were both flush with excitement and standing on the precipice of our new life. So we stayed on the floor and talked about plans until we finally had to drive home.

Another moment of groundedness was one we shared at the ice caves at Big Four. We had hiked up to the caves and then we laid on a rock. Around the corner from all the tourists. I don’t remember precisely what was discussed. But I know that this moment was one where I felt the depth of my bond to him. I felt so connected to him and to the rest of the world at that moment as well. With the mountains behind us, the bees buzzing by us, and the feel of the rock under our backs, it was a single perfect moment. Kody’s smile stretched all the way across his face. It was a real smile too.

After we had both moved out of our house and were coming back to it for the last time, unsure of the future, facing the possibility of divorce, we laid together on the carpet once again. We kept meaning to leave, go our separate ways, but instead we talked for hours. For a moment there, everything felt right. I knew that we would both be okay no matter what was coming in the months ahead of us. We were just talking and joking like old times, even as we were waiting at the edge once again. Facing a new future, a new reality.

When I think back to the moments of my life, those moments of living life on the floor are especially key. These are the moments that we shared together, but there have been countless more lost to the limits of memory. When we laid on the floor, we were truly grounded in a way that we couldn’t be anywhere else. The moments are special and the memories even more so.