One of the memories after suicide loss that sticks with me is the way that Kody often called people a goober. What exactly is a goober? Well, I suppose that is a hard question to answer without Kody to answer it as he was the one constantly using the word. He would often call me a goober or a goob for short and I soon picked up the lingo as well. As far as I can tell, a person is being a goober when they’re being extra sentimental or lovey dovey. They’re also being a goob when they’re doubting themselves or experiencing some unsure moment. The dictionary definition of a goober is a peanut, or a foolish person, but whenever Kody said it, it didn’t feel like an insult.
The way that Kody used the term, it really felt like a pet name more than anything else. He was the first to admit that there were many times where he was being a goober as well. Kody often said that he wasn’t good at being romantic. Looking back I can remember countless times where he was as much of a gooby romantic as I was. Kody was great at seeing when I was down and surprising me with gifts that worked perfectly. He’d bring home sour watermelons and pink cookies to surprise me with. When he was actually able to speak his feelings about me, he could say the nicest things. He’d say what a goober he was being, but I’d laugh and love every moment of it.
Sometimes he’d call me a goober when I’d be especially cuddly. Even before we were together, when I’d talk about people I liked or was interested in at the time I was a goob. We both knew that we were hopeless goobers when it came to love. I’d write an especially cute note or buy a perfect gift and of course that would make me a goober. He would act especially silly around certain people and then he’d be a goober. It was truly one of the words that we used more than anyone else probably has ever used it.
Kody was always hilarious when I tried to take pictures of him to capture memories and moments we spent together. If he knew I was taking a picture, he liked to stick out his tongue, or do a weird pose. He’d straighten his back and make his posture ridiculous. He loved to mess with me when pictures were being taken and generally made faces as well. I would tell him to stop being a goober and just look natura. This generally got me the silliest pictures of all.
Looking back on all of these memories after suicide loss, I can’t help but smile. The silly pictures that we took always bring a smile to my face. I haven’t really used the word goober since he died. It feels like his word and it was a word I only really used with him. I will never forget all those times where Kody acted like a goober.