If you’ve been following the news in the music world lately, you’ll probably have heard about the death of Naomi Judd. Judd was a singer, songwriter, and actress. She died by suicide a day before she and her daughter were inducted into the country music hall of fame. Since I personally am not a country fan, I don’t know much of her or her music. But I have since read that she struggled with mental health throughout her life. Reading about her daughters, made me think of my own grief after suicide loss.

On Thursday her daughter spoke with the press and talked about her mother’s cause of death. Judd’s family has not only the grief after suicide loss to deal with, but the equally challenging task of dealing with the media. There is such a lack of privacy in the world of celebrities. She felt she had to come forward to talk about her mother’s cause of death. It was only a matter of time before rumor and speculation spread. I feel deeply for Judd’s daughters, having to face this incredibly difficult moment under scrutiny of the press.

There were a few things that Ashley Judd said in her interview that stood out to me. She said of her mother, “Every time we hugged, and she drank me in, I was very present for those tactile experiences, because I knew there would come a time when she could be gone.” This stood out to me because I had a similar experience with Kody. Each time we hugged, I held him extra tight. Every second of each moment remains special to me because some part of me was certain that one day his depression would take him from me. I remember vividly what it feels like to be wrapped in a Kody hug.

The other part of the interview that stood out to me was where she said, “Our mother couldn’t hang on until she was inducted into the Hall of Fame by her peers. That was the level of catastrophe that was going no inside … the regard they had for her couldn’t penetrate her heart.” This point is one that really hit home for me. When it comes to grief after suicide loss, it is easy to wonder why someone would feel the need to leave this word when they are so loved.

I know that I’ve heard this question from some of Kody’s friends and family members. His experience with mental health was so beyond anything that anyone felt for him. Similar to what Judd’s daughter is talking about in this quote, it didn’t matter how much people looked up to him, or what anyone thought of him. Anyone facing grief after suicide loss, has to remember how important it is to separate that person from their disease. Love them for the parts of them that were just them. Let go of the parts of them that were there disease. And yes, I know its easier said than done.