When two people spend a lot of time together, it isn’t at all unusual for them to start picking up some different mannerisms that the other person has as well. This is why friends can often communicate with very few words exchanged. In the case of Kody and I, we shared some different mannerisms over the years. Now that he is gone, these mannerisms remain. Sharing mannerisms can be challenging as any time I use one of these mannerisms, I am instantly transported to thinking of him.

I have several different types of mannerisms that I know I picked up from Kody. One of the ones he would use all of the time is that any time he made eye contact across a room with me he would do a few different things. He would either bite his lip, wink, or immediately pretend to fall asleep, letting his head drop to his shoulder. When we took pictures of each other or for each other, we’d do similar things, and often do goofy half smiles. This was because we were both more comfortable behind the camera than in front of it. It quickly became something that I would respond to by doing exactly what he did. I have no idea why he did this, but soon I would initiate just as easily as he did. This started for us way back in high school and continued from there.

Once we started dating, we added an additional option. We would slow blink at each other and smile from across a room. What that means is that we would close our eyes for two or three seconds and then open them again. We got this particular one from cats, as cats will do this when they are content and happy. Some say that it is the closest a cat can get to saying, “I love you.” For us, that was exactly what we meant it to be. Both introverts, it was easiest to be in public together. Communicating across a room helped us both to feel secure.

I don’t know that it is exactly possible to have mannerisms over text message, but we definitely picked up different emojis and similar from each other. Kody was especially known for using =3, which I took as a smiling cat type emoji. We would also use >.< which was a squinty face emoji. I may sound insane writing these, but whenever I use either of these in conversation, a mannerism picked up from him, I can’t help thinking of him. I know that they are just emojis that anyone can use, but they were specifically important to him. One of our friends even has a tattoo of =3 to remember him with.

Continuing sharing mannerisms with Kody after he has passed away has been extremely difficult as these are part of my day to day life. I will slow blink at people and then realize they don’t even know what I’m doing. Using those emojis immediately makes me think of him. Pretending to fall asleep from across a room probably confuses a lot of people. I know there are so many more as well that I’m not noticing. I just can’t stop using these mannerisms.