When I go to the places where Kody and I spent time in the past, its as if he and I were just here. I can feel the shadows of us sitting at a restaurant or walking along a trail together. Time has gone by, but at the same time, the moment lingers on. There are ghosts of us in all the places that we went during his life. These ghosts sometimes feel like they’re just waiting for me to walk into the space. Wading through time is the most peculiar feeling.

Ocean shores is a place that Kody and I always enjoyed coming. He and I both love the beach. The waves crashing on the shore, the sand between your toes, and the wind whipping at our faces. The last time we were here together was strange, different because I knew it’d be the last time. It was right after Breath of the Wild came out and I remember that we stopped on the way to buy the game since it was one that Kody really wanted to play.

We played on the beach with the dog, flew kites high into the air, and laughed and talked like old times. There was something that wasn’t right and I knew that the whole time. We were trying to make something work, but every time Kody got closer to me, I could still feel him pushing me away. I remember the last day driving out onto the beach, wanting to say so much and managing so little. I cried then because I knew that we would never be together on this beach again.

At the beach now, I can feel a thousand ghosts of us in the places that we’d always go. He’s around a corner smiling at something in a shop or dashing in and out of the waves with our dog. He sits beside me watching sunsets and walks beside me in the pouring rain. I feel he is here far more than any of the other places his shadows remain. I have walked through a thousand ghost towns, wading through time, and met him in each one. But here he feels more solid.

Kody is not depressed at the beach. He is filled with energy. He darts along the waves and charges across the sand. This is the place that I saw him as most alive, most energetic, most happy. It is small wonder that these shores are where I find him. Kody at the beach was always the real Kody. I’ll continue wading through time long after he is gone. I’m sure I’ll always find him here.