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{"id":593,"date":"2022-06-19T04:55:00","date_gmt":"2022-06-19T11:55:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/letstalkaboutsuicide.com\/?p=593"},"modified":"2022-06-04T05:44:29","modified_gmt":"2022-06-04T12:44:29","slug":"kodys-love-of-animals-a-fathers-day-tribute","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/letstalkaboutsuicide.com\/kodys-love-of-animals-a-fathers-day-tribute\/","title":{"rendered":"Kody’s Love of Animals: A Father’s Day Tribute"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

When Kody and I first were together, we talked a few times about children. Both of us were willing to have them, but neither of us were committed to the idea of being parents. As Kody’s depression worsened, the idea of having a child with him was unfathomable. How could I have a child with someone who couldn’t reliably go to work, who couldn’t reliably come home, who wanted to die. I gave up the idea of having children very quickly as I knew the added pressure wouldn’t be something Kody could live with. All the same, this Father’s day, I still am thinking of him and the parenting he was willing to take on<\/a>, that of our furry children. <\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

Very shortly after getting engaged, we adopted our cat Carrot. An orange tabby with a big personality to say the least. Since Carrot quickly took to me over Kody, we soon got a second cat. His cat. Angua is a beautiful black cat with extra toes. Kody loved her so much. Going back over some of the last messages we exchanged, I found so many where he talked about her, asked about her, and responded to pictures of her. Our third cat Ruby came along about a year later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we first moved to our home in Monroe, the cats were our children. We designed a beautiful bedroom space for the three of them even though they were allowed all over the house. Kody referred to Carrot as “sir”, Angua as “miss”, and Ruby as “ma’am.” Sometimes the cats were the only thing that Kody started his day for. Angua and Ruby especially loved to cuddle up to him even on the days that he spent with them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I know that cats and children are not at all similar, but these cats were like Kody’s kids. Kody spent his morning hours drinking his coffee with Angua on his chest. He played with her daily running his laser pointer around the room on the days where he didn’t feel like playing more actively. Other days, he dragged strings for her to pounce and chase. She was often the only thing that made him smile. One father’s day, I even made a card for him and had the cat’s sign it. <\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

Kody was very much a cat person. In any social gathering, Kody played with any cat that was in the room. All cats seemed to know about him as well, as they gravitated toward him of their own accord. Even when we were on our honeymoon in Ireland, he found cats to pet and play with. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kody can’t celebrate this Father’s Day. He never got to be a father to a human child. He never experienced holding his baby for the first time, or raising that child to adulthood. This lifetime, the closest thing to fatherhood for him was his love of his three cats. While I already knew that Kody and I wouldn’t have kids, there is still some sadness in that fact. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When Kody and I first were together, we talked a few times about children. Both of us were willing to have them, but neither of us were committed to the idea of being parents. As Kody’s depression worsened, the idea of having a child with him was unfathomable. 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